It was 2020 and on a summer day I received a phone call requesting a loan of 50,000 TL. I just asked what he would use it for and gave the money directly to my friend from the money I had.
My friend wasn’t even in a difficult situation, he just wanted it for his additional investments. At that time, for Mert, that money was not valuable, it was redundant and unnecessary. It didn’t matter much until now.
Over time, he continued to ask for a loan because I easily gave him the money. After a while, I put a stop to this incident and said no.
He did not pay when we agreed. These events continued in the following times. Now, even if the money I lent hasn’t arrived, I still have things I bought from there.
Winning and saving others, trying to be good to the outside, and trying to save the environment was a traumatic situation. I was able to see this when I encountered these events.
It made me appreciate my money more. It helped me gain the ability to say no to others in the right place. He prevented me from giving larger amounts in the future.
We learn something from every experience. The important thing is to digest these events and accept what we can get. The system works anyway.
From now on, when I lend an amount of money that I will not regret, I act with the intention that it will be used for my benefit and the benefit of the person I lend it to.
Two Sides of the Coin
In the events we describe as bad, our minds first focus on what we have lost and feelings such as pain, deception, hatred, and anger.
Here we encounter some major problems;
- When we feel small and helpless, the darkness within us comes out and we become rude.
- You are assuming that all events will get worse when you see one event getting worse.
- Putting ourselves under intense stress
- Feeling like our assets are being taken away from us
Now let’s examine these items a little more deeply.
In the delusion of protecting ourselves and taking back what we have lost, the dark side within us is crudely embodied. It can cause actions that we do not want or that we will condemn ourselves for later.
After one bad event, we continue to hold on to what we know, using the word always. With the word always, we can call the situation we know, that is, the situation that feels safe and bad.
We put ourselves under intense stress and feel as if that situation or situation will last forever.
While we are in the middle of the event, we may not be able to look at it with full awareness. We do this because it is easier and more accustomed to us to hold on to feelings such as hatred and sadness.
It is more difficult to see what we are in at that moment in the events we experience than to look after the event. That’s why we resort to the experience and knowledge of the past.
Be kind to everyone with whom you have a difficult battle.
Socrates
While in some cases we are forced to be kind even to our loved ones, he says to be kind to everyone you think is fighting an uphill battle.
The fact that everyone we describe as good or bad comes to us is nothing more than life coming to us.
I think we can do this by looking at what events bring us from a distance and focusing on the things we receive, as a wealthy person does.
The moment that each event and person brought to us was perhaps difficult and made us sad.
This situation changes completely when we look at what we received from him from a different perspective.
As long as we broaden our perspective in our own lives, there is no such thing as war or peace. There are just those. Whoever wants to buy it gets it.
We have the power to transform what we watch, what we see, what we feel, and our perception into whatever we want. This requires some time and effort.
They say time heals everything. Over time, we will realize our awareness. We will walk the path of life and grow.
If we focus only on what we give away while watching these events, we will increase the number of complaints.
We grow as we see what we receive and what we gain. Maybe what you do now and define as a mistake will prevent you from making a bigger one in the same area in the future.
Everything has a service. Let’s see, perceive, understand, internalize, and accept the service of these events. As we accept this, let’s expand our chest and grow for benefit and good.
Let’s be respectful to everyone with whom we disagree and disagree. They can teach us much more than we think and behave well.
Cool Waters
We weighed our mind, the perspective from which it sees things, what it takes, and what it gives. How can we get what is beneficial for ourselves here?
- We increase our courage by gaining and developing different perspectives on these events.
- We use these events to reach a higher level of consciousness and are relieved.
- We understand the mathematics of life by realizing what we give and what we receive.
- We realize how much control we have over events.
- We enrich our experiences by seeing that the path we follow while experiencing the event is more important than the outcome.
What can we do?
What can we do in such situations?
- The question of what input I gave when I encountered these situations in the past allows you to see the current patterns.
- How can I use the power of the past now with a new perspective and knowledge? The question changes a variable to you.
- Understanding our inner voice and feelings will benefit us here.
I told you my own experience at the beginning of the article. Let’s see how I can react if I reencounter this incident.
Being aware that when I ask for a new loan of money, the sustenance I have is in return for my time that my family also has a share in it, and that I protect the trust.
- Do I fully trust the person asking for help?
- Do I think you can pay it back?
- Is the area where he will use my money or an area in which he is competent?
- Is this money an amount I can give and forget about?
- I may offer different help depending on the situation.
Rejecting this offer means rejecting their offer, not the people.
It is enough to make an explanation to myself on these issues, not to them.